Becoming a Lifter – Intermittent Programming Disease (IPD)

The Reader is now quite familiar with strength and its application. He understands the nature of athleticism and has accepted the harsh truths that lie therein. He has also completed the Novice Linear Progression (NLP), as taught and prescribed by Mark Rippetoe of Starting Strength. If the Reader has not completed his 6-12 weeks, he will go do that before he returns to this page, as he has not yet tapped his ability to put more weight on the bar every day he enters the gym. And, if he can do that, why wouldn’t he?

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What Is Athleticism?

The term athlete is bandied about quite loosely and seems to denote any person who participates in a sport. In our postmodern Hellscape, an athlete can even mean one who plays video games. Men’s Journal covered some gamer “training” at the Red Bull facility in Santa Monica, California, in case my Dear Reader needed another reason to feel as if they have underachieved in this life. I see athleticism as a spectrum of capacity. An athlete’s genetics, training experience, and accumulated skill amalgamate into their athleticism. (more…)

The 7 Types of Strength

The homo sapien interacts with his environment as a system of levers. In this way, he can be called a machine. His body is a device used to multiply the force he creates with the ground. As force transfers through his rigid skeleton, the attached musculature guides the force in the direction he desires. This is Man, and force production is his nature. (more…)

YOUR DUMB – Are Chiropractors Mystics?

Chiropractors are everywhere. They are ferociously marketing themselves to my Dear Reader, nagging passers-by near a mall kiosk, and fishing (phishing?) their way into the offices of medical doctors. In all of these facets, they are relaying a message stating a comprehensive healing ability by musculoskeletal, specifically spinal, manipulations to fix vertebral subluxations. One could simply read the Wikipedia page to learn how it’s fraudulent since this is well-trodden, but reading my cool swear words and fantastical wit is infinitely more entertaining. Plus, new chiropractic operations continue to open all the time and I’m going to learn from doing this.

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YOUR DUMB – Paper or Plastic?

With Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio breathing hot CO2 down your neck, Teslas electrically hitting the speed of light, and every barely-sentient lip piercing at Whole Foods being totally insufferable, you’ve become hyper-aware of your carbon footprint and climate change. So let me ask you a question, should you use paper or plastic bags when you are packing up your supermarket items? Moreover, are you, as my title suggests, dumb? (more…)

Does the NBA Hate White People?

There has been a monumental paradigm shift occurring in the sport of basketball over several decades. I believe it has reached its summit, or at least I hope we’re close. Few have spoken up while many have stayed silent, possibly out of fear that they may be ostracized, fired, or worse, as is par for the course when one talks about diversity or makes a funny joke about AIDS. However, I believe most people are not even aware of what I am about to present, but it’s been right underneath their thin noses the whole time. The climate of the NBA has shifted so dramatically that it’s hardly recognizable from its roots. Just recently Oscar Robertson was asked about political activism in today’s sport, to which he responded, “where are the white athletes while this is happening?” My response to Oscar is, what white athletes?
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YOUR DUMB – Are Protein Supplements a Sham?

The global supplement industry is going to reach $278 billion by 2024. The regulation and scientific evidence for many of the biggest sellers is sparse. Muscle Protein Synthesis (MPS) and its expression from dietary intervention is our main concern today. What I want to know is the dosage of protein/amino acid combination necessary to induce MPS most effectively and efficiently, particularly before/during/after exercise, but I’ll try to summarize every piece worth noting. (more…)

DANGER – Exercise Variation Lurking Ahead

Millions of people have sprinted into my DM’s inquiring about exercise variation. So, today, I’d like to broach this topic and discuss why I believe many “experts” out there hide behind it. There are many of these experts in the fitness industry, so this blog post is going to be imperative. Western civilization’s current health status is a rather gnarly indictment of these authority figures. We’re a generation of fat men and women raised by experts. I’m wondering if another expert is really the answer we need. (more…)

The CrossFit Question

Millions of people flood my DM’s every week asking me the CrossFit Question. It’s become quite clear to me that most experts are afraid to tackle the JQ- I mean CQ. It’s a radioactive topic and I’m risking my life with this post, as per usual on this blog. Just yesterday a young college student came up to me and asked, “why are CrossFitters so jacked?!” I smacked him on the top of his head with a tack hammer, instantly raising this country’s average IQ. What I’m saying is that you have a moral obligation to murder stupid people. (more…)

LETTER XXXIX – Looking the Part (Mahatma Gandhi)

LOOKING THE PART by Mahatma Gandhi

The quest for a muscular physique is obviously a material endeavor, one caused, continued, and concluded by ingesting and digesting. I must invoke the First Law, one cannot create energy, he must consume it. Some might consider this quest to be superficial, surface level. However, one finds a shocking amount of internal friction and ensuing growth when walking the path. Moreover, it might be admitted by the experienced traveler that it is mostly mental, and, dare I say, spiritual. Please, let me make the case! (more…)